Most people use the word ‘lonely’ so easily, like they know exactly what meaning it holds, like it’s something dreadful, something to fear; but the truth is a little bit different.
People say that, in order to love someone else, you must love yourself first. Somehow, I agree and disagree with that at the same time. I mean, yes, I think it’s healthy to put yourself first, before anyone else, because at the end of most days you go to sleep with your own thoughts, not someone else’s, and no loved one can do anything about it. But it is not necessary. You can give yourself to other people even when you don’t have everything figured out because usually people can help or stimulate us to define ourselves, tracing the lines to our portraits.
Nowadays most people seem to desperately need someone by their side, someone to always be around, someone to share everything with in order not to get lonely. People have begun fearing loneliness. Being alone with only their self terrifies them in a strange way; we have come to dread spending time with ourselves when, mostly, it’s the best spent time.
I used to have this fear of loneliness, too, I had to keep busy all the time, make as many friends as possible, try not to think of myself too much, I did everything necessary in order to not end up alone; it scared me.
But there comes a time in everyone’s life, sooner or later, when you end up alone, for some time. Now, when that happens, you have two choices: either you collapse and desperately try holding on to something in order to ignore what is going on, or you acknowledge your situation and let it sink in. You let loneliness surround youand fill you and show you what the fuss is all about. I have learned that if you go with option number two, doors you never thought even existed open for you without any effort; if you look carefully, you might even find your true self behind one of them.
The thing about loneliness is that, once you let it engulf you, it becomes an addiction. It grows into you and blooms through your most beautiful features only to let you know it’s there, to make you feel its oddly comforting presence; loneliness is addictive.
What it actually does is it let’s you wander through the darkest corners of your mind and heart and plants the seeds of peacefulness inside your aching soul, sometimes even setting you free from whichever anchor has been holding you down blindly for so long.
There is no need to hide away from this feeling, because it hold comfort within, it’s like a warm embrace on a cold winter day. Embrace loneliness when it comes to you and let it help, let it show you the way to your true self, the one you’ve been looking for, let it keep you safe and sound from the empty hearts that walk this Earth, let it show you what it is like being lonely.
But you need to be careful; once you get a taste of how good it feels getting away from everything, finding answers to your questions or losing yourself into an endless self paradise, you might want to spend forever there. Loneliness plays its part in the course of our fragile lives but it shouldn’t be there forever, you need to experience all the other feelings as well.
Loneliness is addictive because, most times, it leads you to everything you wanted to know, it helps you recover and discover; you need it in order to grow. It can mend and break, it can be good or bad; after all, it’s up to you how you let it affect you. Don’t let it consume you, let it heal.